We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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