Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
