How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
