i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
