Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
