WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
