in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
