My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just googled if crying burns calories
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
