if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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