Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
