"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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