so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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