Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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