there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
where are you?
Hypothermia
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
did you just send me my own nude
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
