Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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