Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
