why didn't you poke me back
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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