I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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