Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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