Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
