I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
