New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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