i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
