And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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