I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
wanna go halves on a baby?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
