She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You may now shotgun with the bride
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
