The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
