We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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