One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
