somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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