So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
