I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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