i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
birth control should be required to get into college
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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