Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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