I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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