even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
