Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
