I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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