Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My pussy is not your playground.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
