Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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