Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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