me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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