I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
