A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
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