i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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