it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
