I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
