Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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