He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
