My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
