Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
