I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
