walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The struggles of a small town man whore
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
