JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize