she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
