TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
