We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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